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domestic abuse

in Domestic Abuse

How To Rise From The Ashes

In order for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes, it must first burn and die.

The same goes for you and I. After a traumatic experience such as being domestically abused, or going through a horrible breakup, the pain is intense. But these feelings of regret, disappointment, anger, loneliness, grief, and sadness are actually calling our attention to peel off a layer of our ego so we can get closer to being our highest and best selves. How do we do that? By feeling, accepting, and ultimately growing.

FEELING

Our society has conditioned us to hide our pain. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them knowww...Disney's Frozen anyone? We attempt to subdue pain with temporary harmful behaviors that create a snowball effect which leads to addictions, disorders, self-injury, and breakdown. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Own it. Be aware of it. Don't rush this stage. Journaling is a very effective tool for releasing emotions and thoughts in a healthy way. Once you actually feel it, you can begin to accept it.

ACCEPTING

This doesn't mean you should turn pain into a little luggage and haul it around. It just means being at peace with the way things are at the present moment. It's being comfortable in the uncomfortable. Easier said than done I know, but mindfulness is the key here. I find that meditation and exercise are great for being in the now while also lifting your mood. Acceptance is the fertile ground upon which understanding is born.

GROWTH

Once you understand the pain, you start to see it with a different set of eyes. It is clear that pain actually taught you a lesson (or lessons) and you realize you will never be the same person again. You are wiser, stronger, full of compassion, forgiveness, and love. You have successfully removed a layer of your ego. That old part of you has died. This new part of you is now a reflection of your higher self...reborn, renewed, and risen from the ashes, just like the Phoenix.

Image result for phoenix

Photo credit: © Chanel Baran via C. Ara Campbell

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in Domestic Abuse

Transformation

Truth be told, we can take on a hefty load of other people's crap.

How many times have we said:
"If they cheat on me one more time, I'm done."
"If they hit me one more time, I'm done."
"If they come home late again, I'm done."
"Fill in your own... you get the point."

The next time they do it, we make up another excuse and say the same threat over and over again....UNTIL ONE DAY. Now seemingly that day, you feel as if you've had enough of them and you just cannot take it anymore. You've cracked; when in fact, it has NOTHING to do with them, it's all about YOU!

Real Transformation

Here me out: REAL transformation doesn't happen until you truly decide to get real with yourself. When you are done making excuses. When you are done being hurt & mistreated. When you realize that you must put yourself first, no matter the consequences that lie ahead.

[This can also happen outside of a relationship context, for example, you could be taking drugs or living an unhealthy lifestyle.]

Regardless, transformation initiates when you faintly begin to recognize your worth, your truth, your path. It's not easy. As a matter of fact, it's crazy scary because you start to question your entire existence. Most importantly, it's not an epiphany. It is a journey that takes you in spirals, revisiting the same issues until you ultimately capture what your soul is trying to show you.

You will start to shed habits, beliefs, relationships, careers, friends, and interests that no longer resonate with your truth and who you really are. Your life will slowly re-build itself in the most beautiful, painful, and awe-inspiring of ways. It isn't for the faint of heart, which is why until you are TRULY tired of your own crap, will you embrace the journey of transformation!

Image result for transformation

Photo Credit: Copyright © 2015 BrandStrategy, Inc.

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